Christmas Bizarre

Chapter 1 

I’ve got this. I’ve totally got this. 

“What the—” 

Charlotte Miller frowned at the dashboard of her rented mid-size sedan and wondered what the hell she was thinking. The drive from Denver to her hometown of Summit Springs shouldn’t take more than ninety minutes, maybe two hours if she stopped at the Sunset Diner before she hit the mountain pass, but she’d been on the road that long already. 

She should have gotten the hint when she discovered the diner was closed. Not only did she leave hungry, but she left stupid too, without checking the weather to see if the snow got worse up the hill. 

The snow always got worse up the hill. 

It was barely a week after Thanksgiving, and she should have known better. This pass didn’t usually close, but it could be a hairy drive in bad weather. She should have paid the extra money to rent something with four-wheel drive. Or waited two days. Or have been better at her job so she didn’t need to escape Denver under cover of a family emergency. 

A few more snowflakes, and she would be the family emergency. Wouldn’t that be completely in character? 

“What? Shit. No. Wait…” The orange idiot light blinking on the dashboard was a “check engine” warning. Check engine? Okay fine, so she didn’t get the four-wheel drive, but the car wasn’t a total POS. She was cheap but not that cheap. Was this a joke? She was about to crest the mountain in a near-blizzard, but instead of sliding off the road into snowy oblivion—as one did—she was going to break down instead? 

She kept her foot on the gas, begging the gods of ugly four-door sedans to be kind. “Fuck. Don’t you die on me, you little fucker. Um. Please-thanks?” 

Charlotte was not going to cry. Not at all. She was sophisticated. Suave. Not single because her fiancée had dumped her for some pediatrician in Seattle. Not in huge trouble at work because she’d called the marketing director of their biggest client a bigot. She totally had this. 

Fuck her life. 

For a second it seemed like it was going to be okay. The light stayed on, but the car was moving along. It even seemed like the snow might be letting up. She took a breath and puffed it out, willing her shoulders to relax. 

And then the second was gone. 

The engine sputtered and made this horrible noise. It felt like the car bucked underneath her and then it was over. She rolled to a stop with a dead engine. 

Goddamn it. 

“Goddamn it!” she shouted, pounding on the steering wheel. When she tried to turn the engine over again the car made an evil screeching sound as if Satan himself were in there playing the electric guitar. 

So, fuck yeah. She lost it. 

“Fuck you, you stupid piece-of-shit-grandpa-mobile!” She pounded on the steering wheel, the window, the dashboard. “Fuck you!” 

Then the tears did come—those fucking tears that she’d held at bay since yesterday morning when her twin brother had called. 

“Lottie, I fell off the barn and broke my arm.” 

“Lottie, Dad had a heart attack and he’s in Grand Junction.” 

“Lottie, Gram and Aunt Deenie aren’t capable of pulling off the Summit Springs Bazaar.” 

“Lottie, I need you. We’re going to lose the farm.” 

That last sentence had been the straw that broke her knock-off Louboutins. 

She would do anything for Jacob, and together, they’d burn the world down for the family farm. But first she had to get off this fucking road and not freeze her tits off. They were perky and she was proud of them. Rosalie had even said how much she’d miss them before she’d taken back her diamond ring and walked out the door. 

Bitch. 

She took a deep breath and tried to calm down. She shouldn’t waste all that hydration on tears if she was going to be stuck here, right? Did it even work like that? Whatever, her drama llama act wasn’t helping. She swiped at her eyes, then tried the engine again, but Satan must have won out because the fucking thing was silent. Dead and silent. 

Fine. No problem. She had a cell phone. 

But who to call? Aunt Deenie was adorable but useless in an emergency, Jacob was, oh god…probably in a big cast or something. She should have asked him about that, huh? Hm. And she was still in denial about Dad, period. He was going to be fine. Just fine. 

Fine, damn it. 

So, who did that leave? AAA? The police? Mountain rescue? Oh! Maybe Gerry March was still on that team. Gerry was butchy-beautiful and being rescued by her would make all of this so worth it. 

She pulled out her phone, beaming at the light pouring, all her favorite apps reminding her why she loved Denver. Summit Springs didn’t even have a big box store. She needed Target and… 

Why the hell wasn’t her Safari working? 

Maybe because it’s a fucking snowstorm, and you have no bars, idiot. 

Charlotte hated that goddamn voice—the one that talked to her like she was a moron. Talked to herself. Whatever. The ugly one that convinced her she was the reason her almost-marriage didn’t happen, and that she couldn’t do that job she was about to get fired from anyway. The one that was telling her that she should have rented a four-wheel-drive car. The one that was right about having no bars. 

“Fuck this.” No more tears. That was for people who wanted to deal with their shit. She wanted to bury hers in a deep, deep fucking hole. She put on her hazards—that was something anyway—and got out of the car. 

Jesus, it was cold, and windy, and this was like January bullshit weather not the first week of December. What the hell? At least she had the right coat on and a pair of boots. She never got to wear these fuzzy ones in Denver, and she was happy to be in them now. 

She opened the trunk, ducking under the hatch for cover, and pulled out a bottle of red wine. 

She wasn’t driving. She wasn’t even walking in this crap; she’d freeze. Nope. She was going to drink. 

Assuming she had a corkscrew in the glove compartment, of course.